Dance Recital Tips - The Way They Should Be Written

#1 Your child is a preshush snowflake. We know this.  So is the person's child beside yours. Remember that. Everyone wants to to see their child perform. As a result, please refrain from the following behaviors:

• Stressing yourself out as if recital is an audition for the Joffrey Ballet.  It's not. And even if it was, it's the child's audition. Not yours.
• Yelling at your child and then yelling at them for crying because their eyes will be red on stage.
• Standing in front of people during the performance, thereby obstructing the view of someone else's preshush little snowflake.
• Talking during the performance. Just because you aren't interested, doesn't mean the person beside you isn't.
• Criticizing another child.  You don't know if their parents are sitting next to you.

#2 Respect the dance teachers and staff.  

• They will be busy. Do not take this time to ask if Little Suzy did a good job or if there will be dance class next Thursday.
• Do not ask the photographer (if there is one)  to take special pictures for you. He/She is also very busy.  There is a picture day for these kinds of requests.

• If you want to watch the dances, have a seat. Standing at the side of the stage is rude. It distracts from the dance, especially if your child is very young.  Buy a ticket and sit down. Many parents have to run back and forth between costume changes. It's part of the experience. Embrace it. 

#3 This relates to the first item. The recital is more than your child's class. There will be many, many numbers performing as there are many children involved. 

• Your child's dances will not be the first few numbers so that you can "get out of there."
• Allowing your child to watch the older kids will fill them with wonder and develop a deeper love for the art.  (Trust me on this.)
• If you must leave, do so quietly, without making a scene.
• Yes, it may take 2-2.5 hours for the recital to be finished. Enjoy it. These children have worked hard for many months to put on a good show for you.

#4 Things that I shouldn't have to say, but...

• Please refrain from using profanity in front of the children. It may be ok for you, but it may not for the kid standing next to you.
• Turn off your phone. No one cares that you're so important that you have to take a call in the middle of a performance.  It's rude.  And if you must take a call, go outside.
• Applaud for everyone.
• Thank the teachers for teaching your children.

Of course, they can't really put this stuff into a parent note.  But it would make things easier on everyone if they could. ;-)

Confessions of a Dance Mom

If you follow me on Twitter (and if you don't, what are you waiting for?) you'll know that I make fun of...well, everyone. A lot. I make fun of the crazy mom who is obsessed with her child's "career", the parent who never, ever has any idea what's going on. Ever. I mock the parent who insists on interrupting class at least once a week to fix her child's skirt. I make fun of dancers and choreographers and judges and parents and costume designers...everyone is fair game. I mean, the account IS anonymous - and I believe the appeal is that these people are in EVERY studio. Everyone has a parent who mentions their child's name so many times a day that you start to keep tally marks and place bets with the other parents on how many times she'll say it.  Every studio has a parent who thinks their child is going to be a superstar. There's always a super competitive parent that you're worried may turn into the Texas Cheerleader Mom. And all of these people are also in all of us. So, without further ado: Dance Mom Confessions from me, Dance Parent Problems.

• I've thrown shoes.
• I've threatened to glue my child's eyes shut with eyelash glue.
• I've taken cell phone pictures of costumes in the hallways to get ideas for later.
• I've brought food AND drink into the auditorium. 
• I showed up for my child's very first competition without bobby pins. 
• I've been known to sleep between our studio's numbers while at competitions.
• I pack for the first competition at least two weeks early. (I've come a long way since the "no bobby pins" incident.)
• I've yelled at someone else's child. More than once. (Watch your damned kids. This isn't a daycare.) 
• I've saved seats.
• I drive my child absolutely nuts before she does her solo. "Did you stretch? Are you sure you're stretched? Why aren't you stretching?"

I'm sure there's more. LOTS more. We all do crazy things. That's part of being a dance mom (or dad.)  The important thing is that we learn to laugh about it and not take ourselves so seriously. All of this will be over long before any of us are ready and some day we'll be sitting around longing for the days of spending a week's paycheck on costumes. 

A Year in the Life of a Competition Dance Mom

September -

So excited to start a new season.  Oh, sure, you can do two solos, two duets, and three extra numbers on top of the required ones. It won’t add too much to the tuition bill.

October -

I’m sooo bored. I want to go to a convention or a competition. Is it March yet?

November - 

For the love of God ...is it March yet?

December -

Does all last minute Christmas shopping on allaboutdance.com

January - 

Wait, how many numbers did I let you do? I forgot about the competition fees. *checks black market for going price for kidneys*

February -

Costumes are in!!! wait, how many costumes did I order? That’s a downpayment on a car!

March - 

Packs for the first competition and books hotel two weeks in advance - decorates car, lays out which studio shirts to wear each day of the event

April -

Takes duffel from March competition out of car to repack for April competition

May -

Packs 15 minutes before we leave, books hotel on way to competition, may or may not have packed a studio shirt. It may still be in the luggage from April. 

Recital - stays in the dressing room, hovering in fear of the crazy rec/class moms

June - 

Time for nationals. Kind of relieved that your dance studio owner doubles as your travel agent because at this point in the year, there’s no way you could coordinate a family vacation without falling apart.

July  - 

ahhh... time off. 

Except the workshops.

And Summer Intensives.

And parades.  

Late July - unpacks from nationals

August -

Choreography. registration. new year’s t-shirts. Oh, she outgrew her warm ups. Time for more of those. 

Is it March yet?

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