Friday, December 27, 2013

Featured Friday 12/27/13

Daughters of @Momof5Michelle

Jena -age 7

Madonnina - age 10 

Monday, December 23, 2013

How the Grump Stole Competition


Every Dancer  in Danceville Liked dancing a lot...
But the Grump, who lived just north of Danceville, did NOT!

The Grump hated dancing! The whole competition season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.

It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right.
It could be, perhaps, that his tap shoes were too tight.

But I think that the most likely reason of all,
May have been that his turnout always made him fall.

Whatever the reason, his hips or his ,prancer
He sat there in the audience, hating each dancer,

Staring down from his cave with a sour, grumpy  frown,
At the warm lighted windows below in their town.
For he knew every dancer down in Danceville beneath,
Was busy now, practicing their facials with teeth..
"And they're drying their pointe shoes!" he snarled with a sneer,
"Tomorrow is nationals! It's practically here!"

Then he growled, with his Grump fingers nervously drumming,
"I MUST find some way to stop this competition from coming!"
For tomorrow, he knew, all the dance boys and girls,
Would wake bright and early. They'd rush for their straighteners, to get rid of their curls!

And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the Noise!
Noise! Noise! Noise!
That's one thing he hated! The NOISE!

Then the dancers, young and old, would sit down to stretch.
And they'd stretch! And they'd stretch! And they'd STRETCH!
They would stretch on tables and stairways, and floors.
Which was something the Grump always thought was a chore!

And THEN They'd do something he liked least of all!
Every dancer in Danceville, the tall and the small,
Would stand close together, with costume parts flinging.
They'd stand hand-in-hand. And the dancers would start blinging!
They'd bling! And they'd bling! And they'd BLING!
And the more the Grump thought of this dance costume bling,
The more the Grump thought, "I must stop this whole thing!"

"Why, for over three years I've put up with it now!"
"I MUST stop this nationals from coming! But HOW?"

Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
"I know just what to do!" The Grump laughed in his throat.

He snuck toward the hotels with the dancers there,
They  were all dreaming sweet dreams of leaping through the air..
When he came to the first hotel on the square.
"This is stop number one," the old Grump hissed,
And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.
Then he slid down the fire escape - feeling much like a lump.
But, if Ross could do it, then so could the Grump.

He got stuck only once, for a moment they say.
Then he creeped and he creeped down the hallway.
Where the little dancers’ costumes  all hung in a row.
"These sequins," he grinned, "are the first things to go!"

And he stuffed them in bags. Then the Grump, while he crawled,
Stuffed all the bags, one by one, down the hall!

Then he slunk to the closet. He took the dancers' shoes!
He took the protein bars! And he took the hair mousse!

He cleaned out that room as quick as a flash.
Why, that Grump even took their last pairs of eyelash!

"Overplayed music!" he was grumpily humming.
"They're finding out now that no competition is coming!"

"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!"
"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two,

Then the dancers down in Danceville will all cry boo hoo!"
"That's a noise," grinned the Grump, "That I simply MUST hear!"
So he paused. And the Grump put his hand to his ear.

And he did hear a sound coming from the town below.
It started in low. Then it started to grow.

But the sound wasn't sad! Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn't be so! But it WAS merry! VERY!

He stared down at Danceville! The Grump popped his eyes!
Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every dancer in Danceville, the tall and the small,
Was dancing! Without any music at all!

He HADN'T stopped competition from coming! IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!

And the Grump, with his grump-feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?"
"It came without costumes! It came without bling!"
"It came without eyelashes, makeup or rings!"

And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grump
 thought of something he hadn't before!

"Maybe dance," he thought, "doesn't come from a store."
"Maybe dance...perhaps...means a little bit more!"
And what happened then? Danceville they say,
That the Grump's small heart grew three sizes that day!
And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight,
He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light,
And he brought back the costumes! And the eyelash glues!
And he, HE HIMSELF! The Grump put the taps on the shoes!

Saturday, December 21, 2013

Dream Duffel Bling Kit Giveaway!

Dance Parent Problems will be getting a new look for the New Year, so we think your dance bag should too!

Dream Duffel  has generously donated a WHITE BLING KIT - for you!!!   

The kit includes:
  • .18 oz sz E6000 industrial strength adhesive
  • 1 pkg eyelash trim
  • 14 -16 misc appliqu├ęs/rhinestone embellishments
  • Approximately 45 Swarovski flat back crystals in various sizes. 

a Rafflecopter giveaway The contest will run from Dec. 21-31, 2013.

On January 1, 2014 I'll use to choose a winner!  I'll then post on FB and Twitter so you can contact me to claim your prize!

*retail value of kit $37.99
*winner must contact me at within 5 business days or a new winner will be chosen
*This gift was donated by Dream Duffel. If your company would like to sponsor a giveaway on the DPP blog, please contact me at 

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Featured Friday 12/20/13


Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Dance Mom Survival Pack - A Helpful Guide

Sure, we all know the stuff you need to pack for a competition or a performance.
  • Hairspray
  • Water Bottles
  • Bobby Pins
  • Glitter Spray
But this is not that kind of list. We shouldn't neglect ourselves, parents. We know that we can take better care of our children if we are taken care of ourselves, right?

So, without further delay: Here's the Dance Moms (and Dads) Survival Pack:
  • Rations. Any parent who has ever sat through 12 hours of competition with nothing but the venue's stale pretzels knows that there comes a point in the day where you feel like you may never get out. Keep these handy in case they are running an hour (or two) behind schedule. 

  • Coffee Mug - A really really big one. Because snack bar coffee sucks. 

Will 52 ounces be enough?
  • If coffee isn't your thing, or if it will only work for a certain number of hours, you might want to have a back up plan:  Wine Bra for the moms, Beer Belly for the dads.  I don't want to get all gender stereotyping on you, though, so feel free to interchange them.  Just don't send me pictures. 

  • The REALLY? Stamp.  For use on other parents, judges, or program books that think they're funny by listing the times in them. 

  • Sucks Button -  Use sparingly, these ARE children. But the urge WILL come when you've just watched your fourteenth novice tap solo. 

  • Homemade "Chapstick" Bet you won't find THIS formula on Pinterest. 

Shea Butter 
Lip Balm Tubes
Krazy Glue

Of course, you can find some other handy items over there on the widget on the side (unless you're on your phone and then you'll just have to trust me.) So, get packing! It won't be long before we'll all be needing this stuff.

 Disclaimer #1 - no, I don't actually suggest that you glue someone's mouth shut. Please don't sue me.

Disclaimer #2 - every one of those pictures links back to Amazon. Feel free to click on them. Then go buy something you really need from Amazon. ;-)

Follow Dance Parent Problems on Twitter! We have lots of fun on there!
We're on Facebook too. The fun will come.

Friday, December 13, 2013

Featured Friday


Submitted by @ladybug3841

To participate in Featured Friday, email us at

Dance Parent Problems is now on Facebook!

And, as always, Twitter!

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

The Twelve Days of Christmas - Dance Moms Remix


On the twelfth day of Christmas, my dancer gave to me:

12 Tappers Tapping

11 Rhinestones Sparking

10 Long Legs Leaping

9 Ladies Dancing

8 Judges Judging

7 Parents Screaming

6 Students Stretching

5 Studio Shirts

4 Bobby Pins

3 Glue Guns

2 False Eyelashes

and a pair of convertible tights!

Monday, December 9, 2013

Lies Dance Teachers Tell

Dance Teachers - There doesn't seem to be a line between them.. You either love them or you hate them.

*Just so it's on public record here, I love my kids' teachers. Like family. Like...I'd put the hurt on someone who was intentionally mean to them. They are beautiful, wonderful people. The end.*

But the simple fact is all dance teachers lie. Sure, they may not MEAN to lie. But they lie.

I asked Twitter what they think are the most common lies dance teachers tell.  This is what you guys said:

  • You're gonna love the other dance moms!
  • There are no favorites.
  • We ordered the costumes as early as we could.
  • Practice will last about an hour,
  • She did a GREAT JOB! (When both you and your dancer know better.)
  • You'll be totally ready for your ballet exam.
  • The prop will be small.
  • This costume doesn't cost much at all.

But the overwhelming #1 answer as to the biggest lie dance teachers tell:


Friday, December 6, 2013

7 Reasons to Never Mess with a Dance Mom

1. She’s read the warning label on the E6000 and she’s not afraid.

2. She can juggle schedules, meal times, costumes, and bobby pins without blinking an eye.

3. She has a glue gun and she’s not afraid to use it.

4. She’s protective of her kids. Some use the term psychotic. She does not like that term.

5. She knows how to handle drama better than any soap opera star.

6. She carries double sided tape and eyelash glue in her purse.

7. She has glitter. Glitter never goes away. Step back.



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