How to Train to be Dance Mom

Becoming a dance mom is no simple feat. Most people don't understand all of the preparation and training that goes into it. I've outlined a few simple pointers for you, should you be considering a career as dance mom.

Set Your Boundaries

Sit down and carefully plan out how much money you’re willing to spend, how far you’re willing to travel, and what your guidelines are for two piece costumes.  Then tear up that piece of paper and burn it because it’s worthless anyway.

Learn the Dance Mom  Way

Study dance moms who have come before you. (For those of you who are new here, those people on t.v. are not acceptable subject for study.) Talk to veteran dance moms.  Observe their rhinestoning skills, ,quick movements during costume changes, and check writing abilities.  Mimic these in your day-to-day life until you have them mastered.

Remember that Silence is Golden

The moment you tell someone you’re a dance mom, you’re going to be met with a barrage of stupid questions.  “Why do you spend so much money?” “What’s she going to do with that?” and my personal favorite… “Are you like the moms on that show?” Avoiding these questions may help keep your criminal record squeaky clean.

Acquire Weaponry

rhinestones

E6000

wine

ear plugs

coffee

Aspercream

Physical Training

Stage 1: Run up and down a flight of stairs while dressing and undressing a doll.

Stage 2:  Hide several of your child’s dance accessories. Then, deprive yourself of sleep for 36 hours. Chug a Redbull.  Now have a scavenger hunt.

Sate 3: Give a cat some catnip. Turn off the lights.  Now, try to put a dress and eyelashes on the cat.

Following these simple guidelines will have you acting as a champion dance mom in no time!

Dance Parents Have to Stick Together!

There are CRAZY dance moms out there! We have to stick together!  We're not the crazy ones, of course. It's the others. The others!!!!

You can identify the others by the following traits:

• They move your stuff in the dressing room! 
• They stand in front of you when your child is on stage! 
• They give you dirty looks!
• They save entire rows of seats for hours and no one ever shows up!
• They're usually wearing a jacket or t-shirt that says "Special Princess' Mom" (don't worry if YOU wear this...YOU aren't crazy. It's THEM!!!) 
• They run their dancer's solo at least once more even after the teacher has done it.
• They've been known to scream at teachers, other parents, and even strangers! 

Unfortunately, there isn't a darned thing we can do about these people. Your only options are to assimilate (Please only choose this option as a last resort! Think of the puppies!), develop a sense of humor about them, or to pull your child out of dance and let them start a career in competitive Backgammon.

We can stick together in other ways though. One of the things I've discovered through Twitter is a site called Dance Competition Hub  This is a competition and convention rating site. (They have a fantastic vendor rating section as well!) And it has a very thorough list of competitions, conventions, and vendors. Teachers, parents, studio owners, and dancers are all invited to review the competitions with which they have experience.  They've only been operating since April 2013 (according to the news section on the site) and I have heard myself that the competition directors have taken notice. I highly recommend that you take the time to check them out - because one way that we can stick together as crazy (some of us more than others) dance parents (and dancers - hi!!) is to keep the people we give our hard earned money to honest and fun for the kids.

P.S. They're on Facebook too! Go show some love! Dance Competition Hub