Tuesday, January 28, 2014

There's Always One Kid Who... (follow up to There's Always One Parent Who)

Much like the parents, studios usually have one of each of these kids too!

There's always one kid who:

  • is late to every competition, rehearsal, or performance.
  • shows up expecting other people to get them ready.
  • misses rehearsal more often than they show up.
  • wouldn't/couldn't point her toes if her life depended on it.
  • thinks she's on the prima ballerina track, yet can't plie to save her life.
  • couldn't turn in a tornado. 
  • has no clue how much potential she has.
  • has to be in the middle of everything, all the while stating how much she hates drama.
  • forgets something at every competition or performance.
  • is the studio princess that always manages to get her way, despite the rules.
  • does not seem to ever be able to make a mistake - she dances flawlessly.
  • can turn for days.
  • shows up to every class looking like she just got out of bed.
  • shows up to every class looking like she just stepped out of a fashion magazine.
  • doesn't want to be there, but her parents are making her.

Saturday, January 25, 2014

10 Things You Should Never Say to a Dance Mom

Stupid people are everywhere. They speak and there's no line from their brain to their mouth. It's especially dangerous to tangle with a dance mom. Here's ten things you should never say:

For your convenience, I've added some responses for you to keep on hand.

1. Why are you wasting your money on dance?
Would you prefer that I waste your money?

2. That costume is inappropriate.
Inappropriate for what? Church? School? Yes. Dance... MYOB.

3. Are you like those moms on that t.v. show?
I'm worse. Get out of my face.

4. Is she even any good?
Does it matter? At least she's exercising and not sitting in front of a t.v. with a Big Mac. Hey, you got a little special sauce on your chin.

5. I don't know why you are bothering. She'll never use any of this in real life.
Confidence, poise, athleticism, the ability to remember multiple things at once...all bad.

6. Do you really have to put her in all of that make up?
Have you ever been to a play? A ballet? They all wear make up. We buy it at the hooker store, but you need to know the secret knock to get in.

7. How much do you spend on dance?
Are you offering to pay?  That's the only way it's any of your business.

8. I don't know how you have time for that. Don't you have a life?
Yes. I do. My life is being a parent. This is what my child loves, therefore, it is my life. Would you prefer I dump her with a sitter and go clubbing instead?

9. Do you know how many vacations you could have taken with that money?
I take vacations all the time.  You have no idea how radiant Omaha is in February.

10. You should put her in a real sport.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

There's Always One Parent Who...

At every dance studio, there's always a parent who: 

  • is entirely clueless. She doesn't know how many numbers her child is in. She has no idea the dates of any performances (despite the notices sent home.) This parent may even be so clueless as to not know what style of dance her little charge studies each week.
  • is overly involved. This parent doesn't miss a move her dancer makes - and it doesn't change, whether the kid is 3 or 13.She never leaves the studio, no matter how long the rehearsal is. She can often be seen interrupting class to make sure her little snowflake's skirt is on straight.
  • is the information guru. This mom not only knows what dances her child is in, she can tell you what dances YOUR child is in. She knows the division and style of each number, and can recite the competition and performance schedule like she knows her own name. *note, if you are mom #1, make friends with this mom. 
  • is obsessed with winning. Most of this obsession revolves around her precious snowflake's solos because no one in the entire studio possesses enough of her fabulosity for the group dances to matter - so it's all about her solo -and she'll accept nothing less than 1st place - or at least placing ahead of everyone else in the studio.
  • is the deadbeat dance mom/dad. This parent doesn't even know where the studio is. They don't care what their dancer is doing because it's not what they want them to do. 
  • is the team suck up.  This parent will do anything to get their kid ahead. This includes buying special gifts for the dance teachers/studio owners, stalking judges in their hotels at competitions and buying them coffee, and offering to pay extra for special treatment. (Think Jill on Dance Moms.) 
So, which one of these parents are you? Are you a combination?

Friday, January 10, 2014

Featured Friday 1/10/14

The beautiful 11 year old Grace from Alabama.

*photo used with permission from  @tcook8455

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Things Dance Competition Parents Are Guilty Of That We Really Don't Need To Worry About

Yeah, that was a long title. So what.

We all stress over silly things. Don't lie. You do it too. Some of us do it more than others. But even the most laid-back parents have non-essential thoughts creep into their heads when it comes to dance.

1. Worrying about the score/performance/outcome - even though it really has nothing to do with you. They'll perform it to the best of their ability on that day and if the judges ate the right breakfast, they'll like it.

2. Stressing About Choreography - When will it be done. Is it going to be cleaned in time? Why is my snowflake in the back row?

3. Worrying about costumes - Will someone else have this costume? How much does it cost (Ok, that concern IS valid).  Will they be in on time? What if they aren't? Will the world implode? Will the competition be canceled if we don't get it stoned in time? OH MY GOD MAKE IT STOP.

4. Checking out the competition - both in studio and at competitions. You know you do it. That other teen solo...you're watching her. Oh, wait, can my daughter do that move? Oh, she's definitely better than that. Stop it. Just stop.

5. Choreographing in your head. Even if you've never taken a single dance class in your entire life, you will one day, out of the blue, become a world-famous choreographer in your own head. A song will come on the radio and in your head, you've set a perfect dance.

6. Oversharing - Not many people besides grandma and grandpa really care to watch a video of your child tap dancing to "Man in the Mirror" for the 7th time. (and sometimes, you can even catch their eyes glazing over)  Nor do they care that she got a Kryptonite Platinum on her solo and a High Gold on her Group Dance and they certainly aren't likely to understand the difference (because frankly, even we don't always.) That won't won't stop me from doing it. I"m just owning it.

That's my list. What can you add?

Friday, January 3, 2014

Featured Friday 1/3/14

Wow!!! Beautiful!  Submitted by @MelodyG07

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Happy New Year 2014! We have a winner!!!


Congratulations, Amy R!

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