Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Dance Mom Survival Pack - A Helpful Guide

Sure, we all know the stuff you need to pack for a competition or a performance.
  • Hairspray
  • Water Bottles
  • Bobby Pins
  • Glitter Spray
But this is not that kind of list. We shouldn't neglect ourselves, parents. We know that we can take better care of our children if we are taken care of ourselves, right?

So, without further delay: Here's the Dance Moms (and Dads) Survival Pack:
  • Rations. Any parent who has ever sat through 12 hours of competition with nothing but the venue's stale pretzels knows that there comes a point in the day where you feel like you may never get out. Keep these handy in case they are running an hour (or two) behind schedule. 

  • Coffee Mug - A really really big one. Because snack bar coffee sucks. 

Will 52 ounces be enough?
  • If coffee isn't your thing, or if it will only work for a certain number of hours, you might want to have a back up plan:  Wine Bra for the moms, Beer Belly for the dads.  I don't want to get all gender stereotyping on you, though, so feel free to interchange them.  Just don't send me pictures. 

  • The REALLY? Stamp.  For use on other parents, judges, or program books that think they're funny by listing the times in them. 

  • Sucks Button -  Use sparingly, these ARE children. But the urge WILL come when you've just watched your fourteenth novice tap solo. 

  • Homemade "Chapstick" Bet you won't find THIS formula on Pinterest. 

Shea Butter 
Lip Balm Tubes
Krazy Glue

Of course, you can find some other handy items over there on the widget on the side (unless you're on your phone and then you'll just have to trust me.) So, get packing! It won't be long before we'll all be needing this stuff.

 Disclaimer #1 - no, I don't actually suggest that you glue someone's mouth shut. Please don't sue me.

Disclaimer #2 - every one of those pictures links back to Amazon. Feel free to click on them. Then go buy something you really need from Amazon. ;-)

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Deb Clem-Buckert on December 17, 2013 at 2:42 PM said...

I definitely could use a wine bra. We were just joking about drinking at competitions over the weekend.

Dance Parent Problems on December 18, 2013 at 7:24 AM said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dance Parent Problems on December 18, 2013 at 7:25 AM said...

I think it's a hilarious idea. Can you imagine? :-)

Sarah Piner on December 18, 2013 at 8:46 AM said...

Nutcracker season could have been better with a wine bra! Wooohoooo!

Kara on December 22, 2013 at 5:25 PM said...

I can think of lots of things that would be made better with the addition of a wine bra.

I keep these in my car/bag for emergency rations: http://www.amazon.com/GoPicnic-Ready--Meals-Hummus-Crackers/dp/B003YBP6Q0/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1387761831&sr=8-1&keywords=go+picnic

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