Every Dancer in Danceville Liked dancing a lot...
But the Grump, who lived just north of Danceville, did NOT!
The Grump hated dancing! The whole competition season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right.
It could be, perhaps, that his tap shoes were too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all,
May have been that his turnout always made him fall.
Whatever the reason, his hips or his ,prancer
He sat there in the audience, hating each dancer,
Staring down from his cave with a sour, grumpy frown,
At the warm lighted windows below in their town.
For he knew every dancer down in Danceville beneath,
Was busy now, practicing their facials with teeth..
"And they're drying their pointe shoes!" he snarled with a sneer,
"Tomorrow is nationals! It's practically here!"
Then he growled, with his Grump fingers nervously drumming,
"I MUST find some way to stop this competition from coming!"
For tomorrow, he knew, all the dance boys and girls,
Would wake bright and early. They'd rush for their straighteners, to get rid of their curls!
And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the Noise!
Noise! Noise! Noise!
That's one thing he hated! The NOISE!
NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!
Then the dancers, young and old, would sit down to stretch.
And they'd stretch! And they'd stretch! And they'd STRETCH!
STRETCH! STRETCH! STRETCH!
They would stretch on tables and stairways, and floors.
Which was something the Grump always thought was a chore!
And THEN They'd do something he liked least of all!
Every dancer in Danceville, the tall and the small,
Would stand close together, with costume parts flinging.
They'd stand hand-in-hand. And the dancers would start blinging!
They'd bling! And they'd bling! And they'd BLING!
BLING! BLING! BLING!
And the more the Grump thought of this dance costume bling,
The more the Grump thought, "I must stop this whole thing!"
"Why, for over three years I've put up with it now!"
"I MUST stop this nationals from coming! But HOW?"
Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
THE GRUMP GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
"I know just what to do!" The Grump laughed in his throat.
He snuck toward the hotels with the dancers there,
They were all dreaming sweet dreams of leaping through the air..
When he came to the first hotel on the square.
"This is stop number one," the old Grump hissed,
And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.
Then he slid down the fire escape - feeling much like a lump.
But, if Ross could do it, then so could the Grump.
He got stuck only once, for a moment they say.
Then he creeped and he creeped down the hallway.
Where the little dancers’ costumes all hung in a row.
"These sequins," he grinned, "are the first things to go!"
And he stuffed them in bags. Then the Grump, while he crawled,
Stuffed all the bags, one by one, down the hall!
Then he slunk to the closet. He took the dancers' shoes!
He took the protein bars! And he took the hair mousse!
He cleaned out that room as quick as a flash.
Why, that Grump even took their last pairs of eyelash!
"Overplayed music!" he was grumpily humming.
"They're finding out now that no competition is coming!"
"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!"
"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two,
Then the dancers down in Danceville will all cry boo hoo!"
"That's a noise," grinned the Grump, "That I simply MUST hear!"
So he paused. And the Grump put his hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound coming from the town below.
It started in low. Then it started to grow.
But the sound wasn't sad! Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn't be so! But it WAS merry! VERY!
He stared down at Danceville! The Grump popped his eyes!
Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every dancer in Danceville, the tall and the small,
Was dancing! Without any music at all!
He HADN'T stopped competition from coming! IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!
And the Grump, with his grump-feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?"
"It came without costumes! It came without bling!"
"It came without eyelashes, makeup or rings!"
And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grump
thought of something he hadn't before!
"Maybe dance," he thought, "doesn't come from a store."
"Maybe dance...perhaps...means a little bit more!"
And what happened then? Well...in Danceville they say,
That the Grump's small heart grew three sizes that day!
And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight,
He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light,
And he brought back the costumes! And the eyelash glues!
And he, HE HIMSELF! The Grump put the taps on the shoes!
On January 1, 2014 I'll use random.org to choose a winner! I'll then post on FB and Twitter so you can contact me to claim your prize!
*retail value of kit $37.99
*winner must contact me at email@example.com within 5 business days or a new winner will be chosen
*This gift was donated by Dream Duffel. If your company would like to sponsor a giveaway on the DPP blog, please contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Sure, we all know the stuff you need to pack for a competition or a performance.
But this is not that kind of list. We shouldn't neglect ourselves, parents. We know that we can take better care of our children if we are taken care of ourselves, right?
So, without further delay: Here's the Dance Moms (and Dads) Survival Pack:
Rations. Any parent who has ever sat through 12 hours of competition with nothing but the venue's stale pretzels knows that there comes a point in the day where you feel like you may never get out. Keep these handy in case they are running an hour (or two) behind schedule.
Coffee Mug - A really really big one. Because snack bar coffee sucks.
Will 52 ounces be enough?
If coffee isn't your thing, or if it will only work for a certain number of hours, you might want to have a back up plan: Wine Bra for the moms, Beer Belly for the dads. I don't want to get all gender stereotyping on you, though, so feel free to interchange them. Just don't send me pictures.
The REALLY? Stamp. For use on other parents, judges, or program books that think they're funny by listing the times in them.
Sucks Button - Use sparingly, these ARE children. But the urge WILL come when you've just watched your fourteenth novice tap solo.
Homemade "Chapstick" Bet you won't find THIS formula on Pinterest.
Lip Balm Tubes
Of course, you can find some other handy items over there on the widget on the side (unless you're on your phone and then you'll just have to trust me.)
So, get packing! It won't be long before we'll all be needing this stuff.
Disclaimer #1 - no, I don't actually suggest that you glue someone's mouth shut. Please don't sue me.
Disclaimer #2 - every one of those pictures links back to Amazon. Feel free to click on them. Then go buy something you really need from Amazon. ;-)
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