Saturday, January 25, 2014

10 Things You Should Never Say to a Dance Mom

Stupid people are everywhere. They speak and there's no line from their brain to their mouth. It's especially dangerous to tangle with a dance mom. Here's ten things you should never say:

For your convenience, I've added some responses for you to keep on hand.

1. Why are you wasting your money on dance?
Would you prefer that I waste your money?

2. That costume is inappropriate.
Inappropriate for what? Church? School? Yes. Dance... MYOB.

3. Are you like those moms on that t.v. show?
I'm worse. Get out of my face.

4. Is she even any good?
Does it matter? At least she's exercising and not sitting in front of a t.v. with a Big Mac. Hey, you got a little special sauce on your chin.

5. I don't know why you are bothering. She'll never use any of this in real life.
Confidence, poise, athleticism, the ability to remember multiple things at once...all bad.

6. Do you really have to put her in all of that make up?
Have you ever been to a play? A ballet? They all wear make up. We buy it at the hooker store, but you need to know the secret knock to get in.

7. How much do you spend on dance?
Are you offering to pay?  That's the only way it's any of your business.

8. I don't know how you have time for that. Don't you have a life?
Yes. I do. My life is being a parent. This is what my child loves, therefore, it is my life. Would you prefer I dump her with a sitter and go clubbing instead?

9. Do you know how many vacations you could have taken with that money?
I take vacations all the time.  You have no idea how radiant Omaha is in February.

10. You should put her in a real sport.


Sharon on January 28, 2014 at 10:47 AM said...

Tell it like it is!!! Love it and BAZINGA!

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