Competition Pet Peeves

1. And the title winner is...

wait, they didn’t place 1st? Oh, that’s a separate competition? And it’s an extra $75? For??? I can buy a tiara at the Dollar Tree.

2. cheering for backstage help when they sweep the stage...no one cheers for me when I sweep at home... (this one compliments of @tbhdanceteacher)

3. Props. Big or small...that never get used. I’m sure it was worth the u-haul rental for that prop that you NEVER TOUCH

4. Parents who constantly ask me what number they are on or who’s next or which one of our studio’s numbers is up next. Buy your own program, bitch.

5. Parents who should out their kids names while they are dancing. It may just be me, but I”d be all “what?” and then forget what I was doing. Seems to me it would be distracting.

6. Parents who will cheer for EVERY dancer...except one. Because being a dance parent means you regress to middle school.

7. Dancers who run around half naked when they are not on stage. A costume is just that. A costume. For performance. When you’re done, but your overpriced warm up on.

8. Acro in any dance that isn’t acro. (And I love acro, but quit putting flips into your lyrical dance. It looks stupid.)

9. Taking 15 seconds to evacuate the stage. If you’re done, move along. I’m ready for a Starbucks break and you’re holding things up.

10. Minis with inappropriate movements and costumes.

11. Seniors with inappropriate movements and costumes.

12. Productions that seem to last for 45 minutes.

13. Productions with more than 30 dancers. I don’t know how the judges can even see everyone.

14. Unorganized competitions that run everything out of order and late.

15. Competitions that have levels and rules for those levels, but do nothing about it when the cheating or “leveling down” is blatant and obvious.

16. When dancers (and parents) don’t clap for other teams or for EVERY dancer on the studio team.

17. When solos are first and the kid who didn’t “win” spends the rest of the week grumpy and unfocused.

18. Competitions that start at 7:30 am and don’t end until midnight. And then  you have to be back at 7:30 the next day.

19. When the emcee can’t pronounce the name of a studio, even after being corrected.

20. When the only concessions are stale pretzels and warm bottles of soda.

Sure, I could go on and on and if it was competition season, this list would probably be about 50 long. Feel free to add your own in the comments.

P.S. Do you follow me on Twitter? Why not? @danceparentprob