Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Things I Wonder About While Driving to the Dance Studio

Presenting a series of rhetorical questions from Dance Parent Problems: 

  1. As much as we pay in competition entry fees, would it kill the companies to provide free drinking water for the dancers?
  2. Why do kids rush to be the first on stage at awards? Even after they've been told to wait.  At least 3 times.  Do they think that they’ll score higher if they are nearest the emcee?
  3. When you're in a venue the size of Giants Stadium, why do you have to share a dressing room with three other teams?
  4. Why don't the vendor tables sell useful items like clear nail polish, eyelash glue, scissors, and make up remover?
  5. Why do the staples always come out of a $12 program book? Can't you buy better staples?
  6. Why must one person in a hip hop number always break from the group and lip sync while waving her arms?
  7. Do nice, polite kids ever get special recognition or do we just not notice because their parents aren't obnoxious?
  8. What's up with awarding an automatic platinum just because someone's music stopped? Bent legs and no plie are not cause for a platinum, a capella or not. 
  9. Why do all employees of a competition wear 6 inch heels.  Is that a skill you have to put on your resume?
  10. Why do competitions allow a dancer who can do a perfect triple followed by a flawless tilt to remain in the novice category, yet, if you snap a pic on your iphone, they're on you like the KGB.
  11. What's up with some competitions (who shall remain nameless here...as much as I want to call them out) treat intermediate teams like second-class citizens?  If you don't want the offer the levels, you don't have to.
  12. How can a platinum be 290 at one competition and 270 at another.
  13. Why do competition have bronze and sliver awards if they never use them?
  14. Have you ever seen anyone NOT qualify for nationals?  I haven't. 


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